No, I don't ski, don't ask me, merci beaucoup!

I live in the land of snow and ice where people rush around to throw themselves down a mountain on two pieces of steel whilst dodging trees and boulders.

So, no I don't ski. Look at the teletubby outfits, that's enough to put you off!

Those I know who are rock climbers, skiers and general daredevils all have broken pieces of body giving them twinges.

I prefer to go under water rather than over it. Much safer all around.

So, I sit and contemplate the snow as I am in a tin can (the tram to the city) and nearly lose an eye from a ski pointed in the wrong direction and we are nowhere near a mountain. Trust me.

Perhaps the guy could ski along the side of the tram.